It is 3am, as I sit in the glider, rocking my new babe. My eyes are heavy and my mind is wandering. Overwhelmingly exhausted, I don't know how I will every make it through. My days are busy with nursing, catching up on every type of house chore imaginable, and living life with with a three year old and two year old. My life is busy, and yet we never leave the house. Within in the walls of our 1300 sq. ft. house, we wake early, play dollhouse, eat meals, make messes, read books and nurse (a lot). It is easy for life to feel monotonous as my dragging body thirsts for rest. I feel lost. I yearn for the days of a baby who sleeps through the nights, and yet....will that cure what needs healing? Will sleep fix what is broken?
I am reminded...the joy of the Lord is my strength. He is all I need.
There is joy to be found in the everyday moments shared with newborns and preschoolers.
Gratitude brings joy. The inexpressible gift is what brings joy in every moment of the day.
I am reminded by Ann in her Parenting Manifesto of Joy, that I can only feel one feeling at a time, and I choose to give thanks at all times. I will fight feeling with feeling. I will not be overwhelmed. I will not feel sorry for myself. I will not be frustrated or impatient. Today I will choose gratitude.
So today I choose to enjoy each moment as a gift from the Gift. Enjoy the messes. Enjoy the chaos. Enjoy midnight feedings. Enjoy, poopy diapers (from two children:). Enjoy this wonderful life is wife, mother, sister, daughter, and friend. Count my blessings from the Blessing.
Why have I stopped counting my gifts as a part of the Gratitude Community? It is a discipline I never should have laid aside. The only cure to discontentment and a lack of joy is gratitude. So, here I begin again. Counting my many blessings this beautiful Monday evening...
425. Midnight feedings for my little babe
426. A Savior, ever patient with my slow learning
427. A sister who lives close, able to share a spontaneous lunch together
428. A mom who took the day off, just to pamper us and play
429. Diapers and wipes....what blessing:)
430. Making pumpking pie with my two big girls.....oh the glorious mess!
431. That all things are sacred. My everyday life is holy unto God. Laundry, meal plans, and mopping.
432. Paper plates
433. Coffee and cream
434. The joyous laughter of two girls who are supposed to be sleeping
