Happy Birthday Paul!
One year ago today, I experienced an overwhelming amount of joy and peace.
One year ago today, I experienced true community.
One year ago today, I came to understand God's sovereignty just a little more.
One year ago today, God saw it best to take my baby Paul away just 90 minutes after birth.
After carrying him for 35 weeks, it was his time to be born.
The doctors said he would miscarry early on, but he stayed alive.
I got to love him and nurture him for 9 months. What a gift!
I have spent time reliving the special day with family and friends, and I have had so much fun doing it! When a child is born, it is amazing and overwhelming. You are humbled to realize you are not in control and that you need the peace of God that transcends all understanding to lead you. You need God's strength to continue on, and you need God's people to encourage you through. God provided all of those facets of His love to me and Nate that special day just one year ago.
As I am BEYOND uncomfortable, ready to give birth to another new gift from God any day, I am reminded that pregnancy is a gift. It is a chance to serve another just as Christ came to give Himself for me. I am humbled. God is so good. And I pray that today, October 4th, can serve as a great reminder to all of us that God is good. He has us in His hands. He will always take care of us. Nothing is out of His control. We just need to abide in Him, seek Him and the things above and all the rest will be added unto us. No worries. Yes, I am still brought to tears when I think of losing my firstborn son...but then I remember...he is not lost. He is safe in the arms of God.
Your words are so encouraging, especially as we start our journey with Brennan's surgeries. God is good. And NOTHING is out of His control...thank you for that reminder. May you feel peace today as you remember sweet little Paul.
ReplyDeleteI remember reading through and crying with you in your journey last year. I rejoice with you at the peace you have in God's sovereignty and the joy with which you can both look back and remember, and look forward and anticipate. Blessings on your family as you prepare to welcome your newest arrival!
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