The Bread of Life

We have all done it. We take the fruit of the Spirit in someone's life and make it a competition. We compare. Then we feel like we could never possibly measure up. Well we don't measure up! Plain and simply. No one does. However, God calls us to an abundant life, and He shows us how! I have a dear friend who has a first grader now, and as she has raised her daughter, I have seen a difference. A difference in her days and a difference in her choices. And she is reaping the fruit. She has chosen to "eat" of God's word and make God's word be a part of the whole day...not just night time routine and not just when studying for Awana's verses or looking over the Sunday School lesson of the week. There is something different in how she does things. My daughters are still so young, but I have been inquiring of her about how she "does it" for a while now, because I so desperately wanted a deep, Christ-filled relationship with my girls. How did she have such wonderfully rich conversations with her young daughter at the ages of 2, 3, 4 and so on? She has been encouraging me to just read through the Bible. Just read it. Eat and drink of God's word as a family as you eat and speak of His word as you drive, as you do laundry, as you cook, and as you clean.

What a concept?? Sound familiar??
Deuteronomy 6:7 says, "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." ESV

I have also been just soaking up each word written by the author of The Holy Experience, Ann Voskamp. As a mother of six, she and her family join in prayer before each meal and close each meal in God's word. They eat of God's truth as often as they eat. What an idea? Why hadn't that ever occurred to me?

"Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God." Matthew 4:4 ESV

So, about a month ago or so, I embarked on this journey with my husband. Opening God's word at the close of each meal. Why was it so strange or difficult to continue? Discipline. Any new discipline is tough, but reaps its benefits for sure. Where were we to start? I have a 20 month old and 3 year old...how could they possibly understand what I read from an adult Bible? Well, I heeded my friends words...Just read the Bible. So, we started in Matthew. And we just read. Nothing grand. Nothing complicated. Nothing burdensome. Just sweet fellowship with the only One who holds our days in His hands. I am still tempted to "skip", and yet I see a difference in my days when I do. When I make this a priority, I am consciously deciding who my priority is...my God or my self. After 4 or 5 weeks, I now look forward to that treasured time and what questions might arise or what discussion it might spark days down the road. God's word penetrates the heart and teaches us, but it can't work on our hearts or the hearts of our children unless we hide it in our hearts and read it!

In a firefighter's household, there is no routine, so it is definitely hard changing pace when Nate goes to work and when he is home, but we make it work. We just read the Bible. After a crazy Christmas week, we had to get back on track today...cleaning, reorganizing and much much laundry. Advent was over, so our focus for Bible time was a little different...so where to start? I just began where I was personally. I am trying to memorize Psalm 145, and we are also still in Matthew as a family. I had read Matthew last night, so this morning, I just picked up Psalm 145 and began reading as the girls finished up eating. I got to the end where David says, "The Lord preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy." Annabelle piped up, "Mama, what does destroy mean?" What a great question? I took whatever was on the table, built a tall tower and knocked it to the ground. They were shocked!!! How could mom make such a mess? A great teaching moment followed. It definitely tied into Matthew 13 about Christ's explanation of the end times! The rest of the day was such a blessing. We talked about Christ being the light of the world as we drove to see the last bit of Christmas lights; we talked of how God washes us clean as they took a bath; and we remembered the beautiful snow we saw in Big Bear as I taught them that without Jesus' blood washing us white as snow, we would be dirty and unable to be with God.

So often we want results without the work. However, I am learning that I must simply make a home for God in my everyday and every moment. If He is always on my tongue and if I am consistently eating of His bread, then my children will see and hear. I just need to invite them into my spiritual journey, and they will learn to eat of God's truth just as they learned to eat. They will learn to meditate on His word day and night, just as they have learned the simple routines of life. Why do we complicate this so?

I encourage you to begin this discipline alongside me. I will be joining Ann Voskamp and many others in posting a spiritual discipline each Wednesday so that we can be edified as a community of believers. I can't wait to hear from many women around the world.

"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him." Psalm 34:8

1000 Graces

A dear cyber friend of mine, Ann Voskamp, has introduced me to the Gratitude Community, where I am encouraged to journal all the wonderful gifts from God that I am thankful for. The goal is to reach 1000 graces you have thanked God for, but now, each Monday, she adds to her list and encourages others to do the same. I am beginning my gratitude journal now, and I commit to adding to it at least every Monday. I know that giving praise to God is what I was created for. I know that God asks me to have a humble heart full of thankfulness to Him, my Creator and Father. So, here I begin my journey. I am ready to transform my weeks, days, hours and minutes. I am ready to meditate on God's word and always be looking for His grace in my life, creating a life of worship as my sacrifice to Him. I am excited to see my joy and peace increase because I am fixed on the Giver and His innumerable gifts. Please join me!

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

I Thessalonians 5:18

#1 A best friend and confidant in my firefighter husband of 5 years.
#2 Those precious moments with Ava in the morning before anyone else is awake.
#3 The ability to stay home with my children and be a homemaker
#4 The Bible in my own language...a Bible of my own that I can read whenever I want.
#5 A stocked fridge.
#6 Last weekend's trip to Big Bear with family.
#7 My sweet Annabelle and her big heart.
#8 The snow
#9 God's beautiful creation
#10 I am a child of God
#11 Having a sister....what a privilege! Growing up with such a dear friend in Robyn.
#12 9 months to carry my baby Paul before he went to be with Jesus.
#13 A cozy bed with 2 pillows just for me!!!
#14 Heat.
#15 God's unfailing love.
#16 God is near.
#17 God withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly.
#18 I am forgiven
#19 A toothbrush
#20 Playing tea party with my girls.
#21 Long talks with Nate
#22 Legs to take walks in the mornings with my girls
#23 Sweet uninhibited hugs from the girls
#24 The unity and joy in worship and Bible time with the family
#25 The joy in helping Annabelle hide God's word in her heart.
#26 Making a snowman for the first time with my girls.
#27 Playing Candyland with Grammy on Christmas day
#28 The sweet friendship found in neighbors
#29 I am no longer slave to sin...I can hope in Jesus Christ who has paid the price.
....and the list will continue

A Happy New Year?

I know this week, I am going to encounter hundreds of people wishing me a Happy New Year. In thinking back on last year, I question why we wish a happy New Year. I had a very sad year this year, and yet Nate and I have grown closer to God this year than any other year, and we have experienced God's presence in an amazing way. So this year, I am not asking God for a happy year but a year filled with the HOPE of God's love and our Savior's return. I meet every other week with two friends who have been such a source of encouragement this year, and as I was in the thick of grief, a week after Paul's death, they told me that in seeing what I had learned and how I had grown, they almost hoped for suffering. I know that sounds crazy, and no normal person would seek out suffering, but this year, I do hope that God will give me what will grow me closer to Him. I want a deeper relationship, and I now know from experience that that doesn't come in the carefree, easy days we so desperately try to create for ourselves.

And how can we hope? How can we know for certain that this year can be a great year of growing? Because God has promised to refine us and save us from our messy lives. Our lives are so messy! Sometimes we don't know which way is up, but He promises to be our light in this darkness...and oh, how dark it is. Christmas is a great reminder of our hope for the whole year...Jesus came into our lives, our messy lives and promises to save us and change us. So, do I have New Year's resolutions? I want Christ to come change me. I want to give God sacrifices of thankfulness and sacrifices of righteousness. I can't earn anything...it is all grace...but I want to give all I am to Him. Christ is my hope, and He is why I know that whatever next year brings, He will faithful to His promises.

So, let's be faithful in return to give Him our messy lives, daily come to Him for truth, and prepare ourselves to be used!!! I am so excited.

You Ready?

Merry Christmas!

As we are busy baking, meal planning, and wrapping, I want to take time to say "thank you" to all of you who were so faithful to be on your knees for me this year. I have been reflecting on this year, and it is hard to think that I actually survived what most of us would call "a mother's worst nightmare." I feel so blessed to look back on this year with joy...friends and family who quietly walked beside me and cried with me. Here is a little tidbit of my life this week and how God is still teaching me the purpose for Pauls life.

Our "Dave car" (for any of you who aren't familiar with Financial Peace University, a Dave car is a cheap car that was paid for in cash )...our '98 gold Dodge Grand Caravan (she is a beauty:), has been giving us some trouble. Our mechanic found us this beauty 2 years ago, and she has been treating us well until the last month hit us. This week was the third time something was either smoking or leaking, and when I called the mechanic to bring it in on Monday, I was annoyed. However, when I showed up and was able to spend 20 minutes talking to Dawn, the assistant, I knew this was a divine appointment from God. She had seen me four times since the beginning of the pregnancy with Paul, and she wanted to know how I was doing. She thought I was "so strong" and "she never could have done that." She had had an elective abortion with a son who would have major handicaps, and so she wanted to know how I was able to find a purpose in our baby Paul's life. Here I am, standing in an auto repair shop, being asked the question I was hoping to hear, and I didn't know what to say. How do I put all I have learned into a 5 minute conversation? I did a terrible job. Yes, I did tell her that I have a clear understanding of God's sovereignty and hand in each life, and I did tell her I can look on this year with joy, confident God is in control. However, I didn't bring it back to Christ and the hope I have in Him! Especially at Christmas, how did this escape my mind? It is so easy to talk about God, however, using the name of Jesus Christ isn't as comfortable. It is a muscle I need to exercise. How could I go through a year like I did and not be prepared to answer such a wonderful and open question? Well, I am busy...running here and there...and worrying about my car, money, switching car seats, making lunch, and the list goes on and on. Satan had me where he wanted me...distracted and unfocused.

Do you ever find yourself missing out on opportunities to share with someone the good news of the gospel because you are unfocused and distracted? I need some practice. Pray that we can all be daily entreating God for opportunities to share the reason for our hope in Christ...eternal life is now...a life with hope and joy and peace. The world without Christ has none of these wonderful gifts, and I must be ready to share.

So, as we enter Christmas Eve and Christmas, and all the meals and gatherings it entails with friends, families and neighbors, may we be ready to share Christ as Savior, not only to fellow believers, but to the lost and dying of the world. I pray we won't be ashamed or distracted.

"...but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;" 1 Peter 3:15

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*Picture is of Annabelle enjoying her 3rd birthday at Disneyland with lots of family! In a matter of 3 hourse, she had a bag of popcorn, a churro, and cotton candy, all thanks to my mom:)