The Unknown

So, in the last week, I have been battling an outbreak of MRSA again. There were two days where the pain was so bad and affected my whole body, that I could barely do anything around the house. Thanks be to God that Nate was home and able to help so much...I owe him so much thanks. This time has caused me to think about 1)what pain does to a person, 2)what causes people in pain to be discouraged, and 3)what people in pain really need.

Pain that affects the total body and mind can do crazy things to a person's thoughts and emotions. You can become so discouraged that you see no reason for doing most of the things you used to find joy in doing. You launch yourself into this viscious cycle of depression because of the UNKNOWN. How long will it last? Will it ever end? Is it my fault? Is there something I could have done to prevent this? How can I go on like this? And without God, the unknown is stressful, scary and depressing. It is no wonder this can result in countless addictions. My pain only lasted two days until it began to clear up, but I have such a compassion for those people with a lifetime of pain. It messes with your mind. You can't see clearly.

The timing of this is so funny. Lately, I have been sharing with Nate that I need encouragement. I love encouraging others, so I never thought it would be difficult for someone to encourage another, but the response Nate often gives me, is "I don't know how to encourage you or what to say." And this can be so discouraging. But through this painful time last week, I realized what true encouragement is amidst the unknown. I need to be reminded of what is KNOWN. I don't need to hear that it will be ok or another list of things I should be doing. A list of ways to love God in this moment of pain is overwhelming. When I was lost in the abyss of the unknown, and truthfully, still am, since who knows when this will actually go away, I learned that encouragement is simply reminding me of who God is, how faithful He has been and will be. Remind me of who is in control, and then I don't have to focus on myself anymore. This has definitely helped me in being able to more clearly ask Nate for help. Now, I just ask him to read scripture to me, since the pain was so bad I couldn't focus to read. I just need to know who God is and how He is faithful. That gives true hope and joy in the midst of any trial.

Hopefully this helps any of you who will ever be in pain.

As of now, my sore is gone, and life is back to normal, but prayer for a full recovery and fully getting rid of this infection would be grately appreciated. Thank you.